To the unfortunate woman at the Food Lion in Pittsboro this past Tuesday

by Lee Pollard

Pittsboro, NC – Let me begin by expressing my condolences that someone of your age … I estimated to be mid to late 40’s ….. is already experiencing such significant vision loss and hearing problems.

Food LionThat would certainly explain why you completely missed the ash tray two feet from you when you tossed your lit cigarette onto the ground as you entered the Food Lion in Pittsboro last Tuesday evening.

And since I though it the right thing to do, I pointed out to you that there was an ash tray right there and then went on in to do my shopping.

I was also unaware of your hearing loss …. which would explain why the still smoldering cigarette was right where you left it when I came out of the Food Lion.

I initially though that you were just being ignorant and rude, as well as a bad example to the two youngish girls you had right there with you and who clearly saw you throw the cigarette on the ground and who also heard me inform you of the close proximity of the ash tray on top of the trash can…. two feet away.

But as I came out and saw the still burning cigarette laying there on the pavement, I realized that you must have dropped this prized lit cigarette unintentionally and/or that you intended to pick it up on your way out of the store.

Given your level of dedication to this artifact, I certainly did not want you to accidentally forget to pick it up …. and just in case the fumes from the pink dye job on a portion of your hair had you slightly unfocused … or the partial green hair dye job on one of the younger girls had also contributed to your focusing capabilities, I thought it the proper thing to do was to make sure you did not forget to retrieve this valued heirloom.

That is why I returned it to your older model minivan and placed it right where you could see it along the door seal…. still smoldering but in a safe position so as not to endanger your vehicle.

No thanks are necessary and I certainly hope your medical conditions improve.